You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
