ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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