i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
