i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We left the knife in your bed.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
