He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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