They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
