no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
