two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Reggie can tackle my bush.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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