They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
