I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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