I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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