Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
