pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
