dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
