I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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