It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
