If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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