Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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