im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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