I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
