Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
