Whod you bang
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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