Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
