I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
