I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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