are you still at the devil's house?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
