I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize