Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
