i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's official drugs can't kill me
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize