I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
