i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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