4 words: hood of his car
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize