My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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