Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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