Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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