This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
