I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
