Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
