its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Bring me that man meat
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
