her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
