Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
