I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
