i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They took my balls.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
