I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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