make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize