It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
