Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
