Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
