JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
