i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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