You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
