there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
