Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize