I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize